All the Sex Terms You Should Know (and Get Off On) – Definitions Included

In this very complete, very dirty, and very necessary list of sex terms and definitions, you’ll discover everything you’ve ever wondered about sexual activity, kinks, body parts, pleasure, and play. Whether you’re a curious newbie or a kinky veteran, this sexy vocab guide will open your mind—and maybe even your legs.

Abstinence

Choosing not to engage in sexual activity. This can be for personal, religious, or health reasons.

Adultery

Engaging in sexual relations with someone who is not your spouse while being married.

Agender

A person who doesn’t identify with any gender identity, often preferring gender-neutral pronouns such as they.

Allosexual

A term used to describe individuals who experience sexual attraction. It is often used in contrast to asexuality.

Allosexism

The assumption that all individuals experience sexual attraction, leading to discrimination against asexual individuals.

Anal Beads

A sex toy consisting of a series of balls or beads attached in a sequence, designed for anal insertion and removal to enhance sexual pleasure.

Anal Sex

Sexual activity involving penetration of the anus, typically with a penis, finger, or sex toy.

Analingus

Also known as “rimming,” it involves the oral stimulation of the anus.

Anorgasmia

A condition where an individual has difficulty achieving orgasm despite adequate sexual stimulation.

Aromantic

An individual who experiences little or no romantic attraction to others.

Asexual

A sexual orientation characterized by a lack of sexual attraction to others. Asexual individuals may still experience romantic attraction and engage in romantic relationships.

Autosexual

Someone who prefers self-stimulation (masturbation) over sexual activity with partners.

BDSM

An acronym for Bondage and Discipline, Dominance and Submission, Sadism and Masochism. It encompasses a variety of consensual sexual activities involving power dynamics and role-playing.

Bear

In gay culture, a term used to describe a larger, often hairy man who projects an image of rugged masculinity.

Bigender

A person who identifies with both female and male genders, either simultaneously or fluctuating between the two.

Bisexual

An individual who is sexually or romantically attracted to both their own gender and other genders.

Blow Job

Oral stimulation of the penis, also known as fellatio.

Bondage

A form of BDSM play involving the use of restraints to restrict movement for erotic pleasure.

Bottom

In sexual contexts, refers to the receptive partner during sexual activities, particularly in anal sex. In BDSM, a bottom is the submissive partner.

Breath Play

A BDSM activity involving the restriction of oxygen to enhance sexual pleasure. This practice is high-risk and requires strict safety measures.

Bulge

The noticeable outline of a person’s genitalia through clothing, often considered sexually appealing.

Butt Plug

A sex toy designed for anal insertion to provide pleasurable sensations or to prepare for anal sex.

Celibacy

The state of abstaining from marriage and sexual relations, often for religious reasons.

Chastity

The practice of refraining from sexual intercourse, sometimes involving the use of devices to prevent sexual activity.

Clitoris

A small, sensitive organ located at the top of the vulva, primarily responsible for female sexual pleasure.

Coming Out

The process of revealing one’s sexual orientation or gender identity to others.

Consent

An agreement between participants to engage in sexual activity. Consent must be informed, voluntary, and can be withdrawn at any time.

Cowgirl

A sexual position where the receiving partner is on top, facing the penetrating partner, allowing control over the pace and depth of penetration.

Cuckold

A person who derives sexual pleasure from their partner engaging in sexual activities with someone else.

Cunnilingus

Oral stimulation of the female genitalia, particularly the clitoris and vulva.

Cybersex

Sexual activity that takes place via the internet, involving the exchange of explicit messages, images, or videos.

Deep Throating

A sexual act involving taking the entire length of the penis into the mouth and throat during oral sex.

Demisexual

An individual who experiences sexual attraction only after forming a strong emotional connection with someone.

Diaphragm

A barrier method of contraception consisting of a dome-shaped device inserted into the vagina to cover the cervix and prevent sperm from entering.

Dirty Talk

The use of explicit or suggestive language during sexual activity to enhance arousal.

Doggy Style

A sexual position where the penetrating partner enters from behind the receiving partner, who is typically on all fours.

Dominance

In BDSM, the role involving control and authority over the submissive partner.

Double Penetration

A sexual act where two body parts or objects penetrate an individual simultaneously, typically involving the vagina and anus.

Edging

A sexual technique involving bringing oneself or a partner close to orgasm and then stopping to prolong and intensify the eventual climax.

Erotic Asphyxiation

Another term for breath play, involving the intentional restriction of oxygen for sexual arousal. This practice is dangerous and requires caution.

Exhibitionism

Deriving sexual pleasure from exposing one’s genitals or engaging in sexual activity in public or semi-public settings.

Facial

A sexual act where one partner ejaculates onto the face of the other partner.

Fellatio

Oral stimulation of the penis, commonly known as a blow job.

Fetish

A sexual fixation on a specific object, body part, or non-sexual act.

Fingering

The use of fingers to stimulate a partner’s genitalia or anus.

Fisting

The act of inserting a hand into the vagina or anus for sexual pleasure. This activity requires significant preparation and communication.

Foreplay

Sexual activities that precede intercourse, such as kissing, touching, and oral sex, aimed at increasing arousal.

Foot Fetish

A sexual attraction to feet, including activities like foot worship or foot jobs.

Gagging

The reflex or act that occurs when an object, such as a penis, touches the back of the throat during oral

Gay

A sexual orientation describing someone who is romantically and/or sexually attracted to people of the same gender. Often refers to men who are attracted to men, but can be used for all genders.

Genderfluid

Someone whose gender identity is not fixed and may shift over time or depending on the situation.

Golden Shower

Also known as “water sports,” it involves urinating on a partner or being peed on during sexual play. It’s a kink that’s all about domination, humiliation, or surrender—always consensual.

Group Sex

Any sexual activity involving more than two participants. Includes threesomes, orgies, or gangbangs.

Hand Job

Stimulating the penis manually, with one or both hands. Use lube. Vary grip. Tease the tip. It’s a skill, not just a warm-up.

Hard Limits

Activities that are completely off the table for a person during sexual or BDSM play. These must always be respected.

Heterosexual

Someone who is sexually attracted to people of the opposite gender.

Homosexual

An outdated clinical term that refers to someone who is sexually attracted to people of the same gender. More respectful and affirming terms include “gay” or “lesbian.”

Kink

Any unconventional sexual desire, interest, or activity that goes beyond “vanilla” sex. Includes BDSM, roleplay, foot worship, and more.

Labia

The inner and outer folds of the vulva. Sensitive, unique, and oh-so-stimulating when touched right.

Lube

A must-have for any kind of penetration. Comes in water-based, silicone, and oil-based forms. Reduces friction and increases pleasure.

Masochism

The desire to experience pain, humiliation, or discomfort for sexual gratification. It’s often part of BDSM play.

Masturbation

Touching yourself to achieve sexual pleasure. Solo sex is empowering, healthy, and hot as hell.

MILF

“Mom I’d Like to Fuck”—a porn category and cultural fantasy centered on sexually experienced, confident older women.

Missionary

A face-to-face position where one partner lies on top. Classic, intimate, and full of potential with a little grind, whisper, or dirty talk.

Nipple Play

Stimulating nipples by licking, sucking, pinching, biting, or using clamps. Can lead to orgasm for some people.

Non-Binary

A gender identity that doesn’t fall strictly within the binary of male or female.

Oral Sex

The use of the mouth, lips, and tongue to stimulate a partner’s genitals. Includes blow jobs, cunnilingus, and analingus.

Orgasm

The physical and emotional peak of sexual pleasure. Can be explosive or subtle—and everyone experiences it differently.

Orgy

A sex party involving multiple people where various sexual acts take place simultaneously. Consent, safety, and respect are key.

Outercourse

Sexual activity that doesn’t involve penetration. Includes kissing, grinding, mutual masturbation, and oral.

Packing

Wearing a prosthetic penis (packer) in your underwear for gender-affirming or sexual reasons.

Pansexual

A sexual orientation where a person is attracted to others regardless of their gender or gender identity.

Pearl Necklace

When someone ejaculates onto their partner’s chest or neck—named after the visual effect.

Pegging

When a person (typically a woman) uses a strap-on dildo to penetrate their male partner anally.

Period Sex

Having sex while menstruating. It’s messy, natural, and often extra pleasurable due to increased sensitivity.

Polyamory

The practice of having multiple romantic or sexual relationships simultaneously, with full consent and knowledge of all parties involved.

Porn

Sexually explicit media designed to arouse. Includes videos, photos, audio, literature, and more.

Power Play

Sexual dynamics based on control, dominance, and submission. Common in BDSM scenes.

Pregnant Sex

Sex during pregnancy. Often very pleasurable, as blood flow and sensitivity increase. Always check with your doctor if unsure.

Prostate Play

Stimulation of the prostate gland, often referred to as the “male G-spot.” Best accessed through the anus, and can lead to powerful orgasms.

Queefing

The release of air from the vagina, often during penetration or position changes. Totally normal, nothing to be embarrassed about.

Quickie

A fast, spontaneous sexual encounter. Doesn’t mean it’s any less hot—it’s all about that urgency.

Rimming

The act of licking or kissing the anus. Also known as analingus. Cleanliness and consent are essential.

Roleplay

Acting out fantasies during sex by pretending to be different characters—doctor/patient, teacher/student, strangers, and more.

Rough Sex

Hard, intense sex that might involve slapping, choking, spanking, biting, or hair-pulling. Always consensual, always hot.

Safe Word

A pre-agreed word or phrase that, when said, immediately stops a sexual or BDSM scene. Used to ensure trust and safety.

Sensory Play

Stimulating different senses to enhance arousal. Includes blindfolds, feathers, temperature play, and more.

Sex-Positive

A mindset that embraces sexual exploration, freedom, and consent without shame or judgment.

Sex-Repulsed

Describes someone (often asexual) who finds sexual activity uncomfortable, off-putting, or unpleasant.

Shrimping

Sucking on someone’s toes. A niche foot fetish activity that falls under body worship.

Sixty-Nine (69)

Mutual oral sex—partners give and receive at the same time, usually in a head-to-crotch position.

Spooning

A cuddly sex position where one partner enters the other from behind while lying on their sides. Intimate and ideal for slow sex.

Squirting

A release of fluid from the urethra during intense arousal or orgasm in people with vulvas. Often referred to as female ejaculation.

Strap-On

A harness worn around the waist to hold a dildo. Used for pegging, same-sex play, and power dynamics.

Submissive (Sub)

In BDSM, the person who gives up control and receives sensations, instructions, or punishment from a dominant partner.

Submarining

When someone ghosts you and resurfaces later like nothing happened—usually to hook up again.

Tea Bagging

Lowering the testicles into your partner’s mouth, mimicking the motion of dipping a tea bag. A playful, dominant move.

Temperature Play

Using heat or cold to stimulate the body—think ice cubes, warm oils, wax play. Sensual and intense.

Thigh Job

Stimulating a penis or toy by rubbing it between your partner’s thighs. A friction-based act that’s all tease and tension.

Threesome

Sexual activity involving three people. Can be any gender combination, with or without penetration.

Top

The person in a sexual or BDSM scenario who takes the active, dominant, or penetrating role.

Transgender

A person whose gender identity does not align with the sex assigned to them at birth.

Vanilla Sex

Conventional sex without kinks or power play. Doesn’t mean boring—just more traditional.

Vibrator

A sex toy that vibrates for clitoral, vaginal, anal, or full-body stimulation. Available in endless shapes and intensities.

Voyeurism

Sexual arousal from watching others engage in sexual activities—live or recorded. Only ethical when consensual.

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