What is Face Sitting exactly
Facesitting involves sitting on one’s partner’s face to receive oral sex (cunnilingus, fellation, or anilingus). Originally, this sexual practice was reserved for the BDSM community, more familiar with domination, especially female domination. The person sitting on their partner’s face is usually the dominant partner. However, face sitting is now increasingly practiced and is no longer limited to these circles.
Facesitting is not a position that most people have tried before. A lot of women are worried that they will hurt their partner or won’t enjoy it.
But in reality, if done right, face sitting is one of the most pleasurable and empowering sex positions for women.
First, let’s start with the basics and then dive into my detailed step-by-step guide.
Why trying to face sit?
If we really dive into it, there are easily dozens of reasons why someone might want to learn how to face sit. From experimenting with a new position to engaging in power dynamics, to simple curiosity, the reasons depend on the people involved and what they find sexually arousing.
You should know that face sit appears to be a common sexual fantasy for guys.
When receiving oral sex, many women’s default position is to get on their backs. And this is king of logical. You can let your partner think about what to do, and you can relax meanwhile. Here we try to make you discover new way of giving and receiving pleasure, and receiving oral on top of your partner is one of them.
It put you in control and a lot of women like that, or want to try it. It also give your partner full access to the most erogenous zone like your external vulva and clitoris.
How to try Face Sitting
While facesitting can pique curiosity, many are hesitant to try it because straddling a partner’s face can be intimidating. Before venturing into it, here are some tips:
Talk to your partner If the idea of giving or receiving oral sex in this way intrigues you, it’s recommended to discuss it with your partner. Don’t hesitate to share your desires and simply suggest trying out this new position together. If you’re intimidated by the idea of exposing your genitals directly to your partner, you can turn off the lights or opt for dimmer lighting.
Put your weight on your knees Straddle their face with your legs and use your knees for support and to make undulating movements. This way, you’re not actually sitting on their head (which could be dangerous for your partner), but you’re using the strength of your legs and thighs to stay above.
Use the headboard for support To make balancing easier, the dominant partner can lean against the wall or headboard for more support. This way, you don’t have to worry about balancing and can focus entirely on your pleasure.
Vary the intensity and pressure of movements Facesitting allows you to actively participate in oral sex. You can make slow hip movements back and forth or circle your partner’s face, guiding them on the type of oral touches you desire. You also have the power to control the pressure, intensity, or depth by moving closer or further from their face.
Create a signal One concern some people have about facesitting is that they might smother their partner’s face. While this is unlikely, if it worries you, you can create a signal for your partner to use when they need a break. This could be a light tap on your thigh or a hand gesture.
Try different positions There are various ways to straddle your partner. Experiment facing them, facing away, or even from the side to see which position you prefer.
Let your partner know you appreciate it The idea of being exposed in this manner might make some people uncomfortable, but there’s a good chance your partner enjoys it just as much. Facesitting is an incredibly arousing practice for both partners. Don’t hesitate, for either of you, to express your pleasure and compliment each other during the act.
What about Queening?
Often you’ll see that face sitting is referred to as “Queening”, especially in the BDSM community or any other where power dynamics are at play. The dominant ( the “Queen” ) sits on the face of the submissive partner : their “throne”.
Queening is an extremely powerful position as one can ride their partner’s face, rubbing their vulva, clitoris, and if they want, as they’re the one in control, their anus along the mouth and nose of their partner. This position not just empowers the vulva owner, it can make her achieve an orgasm easier because of all the possibility they have to stimulate their clit on their partner’s face. Similar to being on top during sex and using their partner’s pubic bone to reach climax.
What does Face Sitting Feel like
Face Sitting on Top
1. In one word: great!
That is, if you enjoy receiving oral sex, which not everyone does and that’s totally normal! Some people feel really vulnerable when it comes to receiving oral and would rather skip it. But for those who do enjoy it, face sitting is a comfortable way to have their genitals stimulated because, well, they’re sitting and sitting is a pretty cozy position to be in no matter what one is engaging in.
2. Empowering.
Even if you and your partner aren’t into BDSM, when someone is on top they have more control over their pleasure and there’s a power in that. The top partner doesn’t have to “Queen” their partner, per se, to feel like a queen as their partner’s main focus is on stimulating their genitals.
3. Less vulnerable.
For those with vulvas who feel vulnerable during oral sex, a lot of that has to do with society and the “traditional” position of receiving oral. Society has tragically taught those with vulvas that their genitals are “dirty” (which is not true at all!) as opposed to penises. So, when you’re laying there, legs spread eagle, it can feel vulnerable and intimidating. But when you’re straddling your partner and you have that feeling of empowerment within you, you may find that you’re less vulnerable thanks to the control you have from being on top.
Face Sitting being at the bottom
1. Not to be redundant, but again, great.
For people who really, like really, really enjoy pleasuring their partner, there’s no better way of showing that than through oral sex. As research has shown time and time again, the majority of those with vulvas need clit stimulation to orgasm or squirt, and there’s no better way to stimulate that part of the body than having their partner sit on their face. It’s also in this position that the person on the bottom can be consumed by their partner’s genitals, taking in all the tastes and smells without any distractions.
2. Empowering.
If you think you’re seeing a pattern here, you’re right; your eyes are not deceiving you! Although “Queening” is considered a dominant move, being on the bottom can be just empowering. While the bottom partner may not have as much physical control as the partner on top, they can still experience empowerment by pulling their partner deeper into their mouth and not allowing them to escape — consensually, of course — until a certain amount of orgasms have been achieved.
3. It’s an ego boost.
Any person who’s had sex with someone who has a vulva knows that penetration rarely brings them to orgasm. Or, to be more exact, only about 20% to 25% (based on the demographic of the various studies on the subject) can orgasm through penetration alone. Because clitoral stimulation is where it’s at, the person on the bottom can get one hell of an ego boost as they’re in the perfect position to bring their partner to climax — and over and over again, if their mouth has the stamina for it.
Best Face Sitting Positions
Although the “traditional” face sitting position, if we want to call it that, is sitting on a partner’s face while facing the top of their head (making it easy access for hair pulling and pushing your genitals deeper into their face — consensually, of course), it’s not the only face sitting position.
Face away from your partner.
Facing away from your partner give them a very nice view of that very lovely butt of yours. Eating you out while having such a view is a must for a lot of people!
It also makes it easier to add some anilingus because it gives your partner better access to eat your ass.
Face Sitting Techniques
In addition to positions, face sitting also allows different techniques that you can explore with your partner.
Cunnilingus.
Although cunnilingus may be the first thing that comes to mind when it comes to face-sitting, it’s not the only technique that can be used. Yes, it’s a great place to start as the clitoris is chock-full of a whopping 8,000 nerves, but it’s also not the only erogenous zone in that area.
Analingus.
For those who love anal play, face-sitting is the ideal position to get up close and personal to the anus, stimulating it with your mouth and tongue. Or, while the bottom partner is focusing on the genitals with their face, they can stimulate the anus with their fingers too. Here are some anal massage and anal fingering moves to try right away.
Breath play.
It has to be stressed that breath play not only needs to be discussed beforehand, but it involves a lot of communication along the way. While it’s certainly empowering when you’re on top to literally take your partner’s breath away, it’s also something that needs to be monitored. This is where that safe word and/or signal really comes into play.
Using toys.
If you’re not taking the dominant role of “Queening” your partner, if you straddle their face while facing away from them, you can use a mini vibe to stimulate their genitals. Whether the bottom partner is a vulva owner or penis owner, vibrators can really add an extra something to face sitting for both partners.
The best thing is that facesitting is a position for both gender, and you can also do it in a lot of different places.
You can start with the basic facesitting positions, move on to more advanced ones, or try something completely new.
Face sitting is a fun position to add to your sex life. It’s a very intimate and sensual experience.