How can you bring up your fantasies with your partner?
It is normal to have sexual fantasies as human, and you shouldn’t care too much about it. But because of the culture with live in, there are some things that stay taboos, like the topic of sex. It can be very intimidating or scary to bring it up, even with someone you trust a lot. You should know that there are ways to get around this, and create a safe space to communicate and get creative.
Say it was a dream you had
Use games to start things
Games
Fantasy cards
You and your partner can both write down on pieces of paper your sexual fantasies, even the most wild. When you have a stack of card, there is various way to play games.
If you agreed before, or if you know that what is written on the cards is acceptable for you and your partner, you can make it a challenge game.
You can then draw a card from the other’s stack, and the goal can be to please your partner by making his/her dream come true. The first one to do it gain something. You can also set a time limit, like if the game was played in turn, so both of you have for example a week or two to accomplish the “mission”.
You can also go for a totally different road, and write down even your most secret fantasies
Then, each partner should sort all their cards into two separate piles: 1: Fantasies to turn into reality, such as having sex in a public place, or being a sex slave. 2: Fantasies to remain only as fantasies, such as group sex or having sex with someone of the same sex.
You will have fun just reading these together on a special occasion, or even make it true some day…
In any case, card game are a very, very good way to enable communication on thing we usually don’t like to talk about, maybe even the BEST way.
You can both express hidden desires that would maybe stay this way for a long time, if not forever. It can help with sexual frustration in some couple. In any case it will make your sexual life better!
Role play, (or If you just want to dress up…)
Boss and Employee
This is one of the best! Easy enough to be tried for a first time, being soft and just use the title to tease more during sex; but it can also be very kinky and lead to a whole range of intensity in sexuality.
Nurse
This is another one that can be from soft to almost hardcore. But who doesn’t like someone taking care of you, all the way…
Professor and student
Another classic, You can even pretend one partner is a graduated student returning to their old school to take night classes with the other partner.
Police officer
Maybe your partner has done something wrong, or is suspected at least. You can a pair of handcuffs for restraint and it could be exciting, followed by a full body search and maybe a punishment to fit the crime.
Domination
This is a vast subject, and it could go with several others fantasies as a way to spice things up or because it fits a one in particular.
To be the one that dominate your partner, or to be dominated… Both are extremely exiting.
Make a sex tape
Grab your movie camera and act out a porn scene by filming you and your lover as porn stars.
In reality, it doesn’t have to be that. The best is to make love the way you would do it normally and just film it for the first time.
Use sex toys
Sex toy can add a lot of fun and pleasure to any erotic activities. Never tried them ? Read our guide to buy your first one.
You can incorporate sex toy in your sexual activities. There are a lot of toys available on the market. If you want vibration, here is a guide to find the perfect vibrator.
Try anal
For anal preparation, or to play with yourself or with your partner during masturbation, foreplay or sex, you can use a butt plug.