This beginner BDSM book is the ultimate new guide to get started experimenting with dominant/submisive play
First, keep it simple ! Even if you think the contrary you probably have everything already.
Getting into BDSM for the first time? It doesn’t have to be as kinky, edgy or expensive as you might think. In this new beginner BDSM guide you’ll get some tips to get started the first time.
Get started with what you already like
Unless you have some idea and are not shy to try them, In the beginner BDSM book we think this:
If your sex life is rather diverse, you can just go with what you and your partner like to do but this time one of you will lead the scene and do things his/her own way.
If you already like doggy style for exampel it’s very easy to play and submit and play with your partner while he/she is in this position. It’s a good position to be tied up, you are fully exposed …
If oral sex if something you already practise, there are a lot of ways to do that in a more dominant way. You can tie up your partner and start experimenting “face fucking” but be carefull about it. You can sit on your partner’s face and control it the way you want.
Find a pretext at first
Here’s one of the best advice from the beginner BDSM book :
It can be hard to just be straightforward start your first BDSM plays, so a good way to start a experimenting with dominance and submission, is to find in your every day live a good pretext for one of you to be punished. But of course it needed to be a FALSE pretexte, or it could be used strangly in your relationship in the futur. you just need to decide that today your partner came late and you were soooo borred waiting for him/her, so this time you have plan a little something so he/she can be punished the right way !
Experiment With Anal Play
This is a thing you can definitely experiment for a first time. If you are confortable with it of course. The sphincter has more nerves than any other part of the body. And not just that, having the anal zone exposed make the submissive very vulnerable and is very arousing for the dominant.
You can use a butt plug or any other anal toy to play.
Use What You’ve Got
If it is the first time you experience bondage, you don’t need a lot of gear. In fact, the scarves and stockings you have around the house can make excellent restraints and blindfolds.
When experimenting with bondage for the first time, it’s best to have your partner lie down before restraining them, rather than having them stand in one place, even for a short period of time. When tying restraints, use the two finger rule, as you would when testing the fit on a dog collar, to make sure that ties aren’t too tight.
You can use regular massaging tool oo tease your partner.
Experiment with Sensation Play
BDSM intensifies a lot the effects of sensation play. For example you can try alternating between hot and cold sensation with candle wax and ice on your partner’s skin. With more experienced you’ll be able to use other tools like for electro-stimulation.
Blindfolds are another way to heighten the sensations of touch during play. They force your partner to become focused on sensations other than sight, like hearing and smell, which can be very erotic. While leather masks are sexy for effect, sleep masks and scarves may be more accessible and work just as well.
Try Spanking
This is a very simple technique to transform a regular sexual act into something more kinky. So when it comes to BDSM it often goes well with the first experiences.
Before going out to buy a paddle, crop or flogger, try spanking with the most available tool: your hand. Then, if you really want to get your hands on spanking implements, start with a paddle that has leather on one side and a softer material on the other.
Flappers and riding crops are great implements for beginners that can be used just as effectively by more experienced players. So are suede floggers, which can be used very lightly on the skin but can also deliver a bit of a sting
Don’t Spend a Fortune on Toys
Does it pay to spend more on handcrafted or premium material toys? It depends. Novelty implements found in most sex toy shops are not worse than handmade toys, but they may not be as durable or last as long, depending on the materials they are made from. You may also get more comfort with higher-end, more carefully crafted items. That said, it may be best not to make a big investment in BDSM gear until you’re sure that you’ll be using it for a long time.
Seek out BDSM Communities Online
It can be hard to try BDSM practices if you don’t know anybody that share the same interest.
Wanna-be Doms and Dommes might also try playing a submissive role to know how it feels to be on the receiving end. BDSM play is a bit like having a dance partner; one leads and the other follows. Beginners might also find it helpful to seek the advice of a mentor and chat with others on message boards and online groups like FetLife.
The Brain Is the Most Powerful Sex Toy
More important than having the right toys and implements is understanding the power of the mind when it comes to BDSM and any other kind of sexual play. Sex isn’t just about the body – it’s about the head! Like with many things, communication is also key, especially when it comes to getting kinky. Talk to each other, figure out what turns each other on (and what doesn’t) and get to work.
Now, that wasn’t so hard, was it? Just give it a try.
